Harlem Mythology?

An editorial in today's New York Sun states that mythology has taken up residence in the neighborhood.

Claiming that the boom here is "like a cloud of nitrous oxide" that causes giddiness in area real estate, the writer examines what's bringing the "prosperous and largely white newcomers" to the neighborhood and how those interests are driving the condo-market into the stratosphere.

"Developers have wasted no time in building large, boxy structures to answer the needs of the new-comers. Though most of these are mediocre..."

One exception to the mediocrity? According to the writer, the Lenox, on 129th Street.

Gentrifying Bagel

A friend just sent me an Onion essay that speaks to the the absurdities of my bagel quest. The writer hits on many of the sad but humorous truths of an "up and coming neighborhood." Here's an excerpt:

When I moved into this neighborhood, I fell in love right away. Not with the actual neighborhood, but with its potential: It's affordable, there are nice row houses all around just waiting to be filled up by my friends, there's lot of open space to be exploited, and plenty of parking. Plus, this area has got a great authentic feel and, with a little work, it could be even more authentic. Perfect, right?

...It sure would help attract people like me if there was a record store, too, and not the one with the giant Shakira cutout in the window. I mean a decent one. I went in to see if they had the new Fiery Furnaces, and they had never heard of it. They said they'd see if they could order it for me, but I declined. I mean, what's the point of supporting a local business if it's not cool?

But I'm different. My needs here in Harlem aren't fueled by my inner hipster. I'm just hungry for a little dough with a hole...

Yeah, right.

Exposed, Moisturized Bagel

As news comes in that Manhattan apartment prices are dipping, I figure it's as good a time as any to take a random sampling of what's for sale up here in Harlem. Here are few of the apartments available on the market today:

Moisturized Bagel: I couldn't resist this one because until today I didn't know that an apartment view could "moisturize your eyes?" Oy. Anyway, here we have a two-bedroom, 1.5-bath apartment with Central Park views, washer-dryer and, count em', two dishwashers. Located on Adam Clayton Boulevard between 110th and 111th Street. Asking: $895K. Eye drops not included.

Exposed Bagel for Sale: A four-bedroom, three-bath duplex with exposed brick, high ceilings, two woodburning fireplaces, and two 50 sqft balconies. Open house this Thursday at 6:30. Located on West 123rd Street and Adam Clayton Blvd. Asking: $1.24 million.

Bagel Canvas For Sale: Although this "canvas" apartment is listed as being in Harlem, it appears to be a bit further uptown; but I'll forgive, as the price is right for this very spacious one-bedroom located on the top floor of a quiet building "near" west 145th Street. Asking: $250K.

A Day Above 96th Street

My friends at Curbed have devoted an entire day to all things real estate north of 96th Street. One post in particular is bringing about quite the debate. It centers around the question of where Harlem's most "up and coming" area is located.

Here's a sample of comments:

"I think hamilton heights has the best outlook. potential columbia expansion, hudson river park nearing completion, riverbank, ccny campus and convent avenue..."

"Here is my take on Harlem. It will never gentrify. The residents are largely too scary. The young, who can easily coexist with the scary people don't have enough money to buy in. The old, who do have the money are going to stay where they are, thankyou. The masses of middle people, largely coupled off, are not going to move to Harlem, because they can move to Brooklyn or Hoboken and get at least the same amount of room for the same money - sans the scary people. It is a perpetual cycle which will never end - leaving the scary people right where they are for the foreseeable future."

"...The gay community is embracing Harlem and that usually means good things for communities..."

"....They would be just about the only group of people who could turn the neighborhood around.Gay Harlem. I will love it if it happens."

Craigslist Charisma

Who knew an apartment could have charisma? Charm, perhaps. But charisma?!

A $2.1 million dollar Harlem apartment is being advertised as a "Charismatic Four Story Townhouse" on Craigslist. Take a look. I've never seen real estate described this way.

Is "charisma" the new "quaint?"

Name That Harlem Connection

As the neighborhood continues to raise its profile, I thought a section on celebrities connected to Harlem might make for good times.

We've got former president Bill Clinton in an office here, Ed Norton and Colin Farrell recently filming a movie on my block, and Tom Cruise once working as a trash collector in the neighborhood.

Today, I am pleased to announce that we can add Chandler Bing to this distinguished list.

Former "Friends" star Matthew Perry is saying goodbye to his coffee sipping days in Greenwich Village and is heading Uptown for something a bit stronger. At least he is on TV.

Airing this Sunday night on TNT, Perry will take the lead in "The Ron Clark Story," a TV movie about an earnest public school teacher working to make a difference in the lives of the students at a public school in the neighborhood. You can catch a clip of the film here.

Will Perry be able to handle the little rascals? And more importantly, will Harlem's rising real estate prices force the middle-class schoolteacher to share an apartment with old pal Joey Tribbiani? Stay tuned...

Manatee in Harlem

A sure sign that Harlem is hotter than ever? When an endangered species comes to the neighborhood to cool down!

Cruising past the nightclubs of Manhattan and continuing uptown, a manatee has been spotted in the Hudson River at least three times in the last week - in Chelsea, Harlem and Westchester County.

"It was gigantic," said Randy Shull in an interview with the Associated Press, who said he spotted the manatee Sunday afternoon while boating in Westchester. "When we saw it surface, its back was just mammoth."

Kim Durham, rescue program director for the Riverhead Foundation, a nonprofit group devoted to marine mammals, called it a "bona fide" sighting, but there isn't photographic proof.

It is unusual for one of the creatures, often associated with the warm waters of Florida, to travel so far north but they have been reported along the shores of Long Island and even Rhode Island. Here's another stock photo of the manatee.

Sweaty Bagel Day 2

As I wandered around Harlem today, I stumbled upon something even hotter than this heat wave: new neighborhood real estate! Just unveiled: The new sales office for the Rhapsody on Fifth.


It's on the corner of 125th Street and Fifth Avenue, a few doors down from the Black Israelites headquarters. I've tried to get these guys to talk to me about the changes happening in the neighborhood, but so far it's been a no-go. They're a tight-lipped bunch. They do, however, wish all of us a Happy Hannukah 365 days a year.


These signs have been in the window since I moved to the neighborhood early last summer. Today, it's a nice reminder of the cool days ahead.

Sweaty Bagel

This heat wave is melting my bagel. With record-breaking temperatures forecast for the next couple of days, I'm bracing for my third heat wave of the summer - having gone through the first one in the city earlier this month and then another last week in Los Angeles.

The frizz factor is the only noteable difference in the two. As Californians did everything they could to stay indoors, I was thrilled to discover that the great (dry) outdoors didn't inflate one single hair on my head. Here in humid New York, my locks are puffed up enough to often require an additional subway seat. Still, I'm glad to be back. Me and my hat, that is.

Harlem blogger Joe Schumacher assures us that a cold front is expected to arrive late-Thursday or possibly Friday. I'll try to post some pictures later on what the heat wave looks like in Harlem. (full disclosure: it's not so pretty.)