Bad Bagel

Having too much of a good bagel is a notion that never crossed my mind. In my wildest dreams, I never considered that more bagel could equal bad bagel.

Today, however, a bagel nightmare has emerged thanks to a recent firing on Donald Trump’s reality show, The Apprentice. Last week, Trump fired Brent Buckman in front of millions of TV viewers and criticized him for being overweight. Now Buckman is shifting his focus from the boardroom to his belt-size. And he’s doing it with the bagel.

It seems the Toronto-based lawyer has lost more than 100 pounds since the taping of the show last fall, and now he’s hoping consumers will digest his simple weight-loss secret: the four-bagel-a-day diet.

The diet entails—you guessed it—eating four bagels every day. The specifics of his weight-loss plan are outlined on his Web site and Buckman hopes a book deal on the subject is in his future.

The only future I see for the four-a-day bagel is a bloated one. Someone really ought to fire this bagel…